let’s talk FORGIVENESS

“…but You are a God of forgiveness, gracious and 

compassionate, slow to anger and abounding In lovingkindness; 

and You did not forsake them.” - Nehemiah 9:17



We are forgiven much, so we love much, and through the reality of that love, we can offer forgiveness to those who have Inflicted some of our deepest pain.  

Who hasn’t had to forgive or be forgiven?

Sitting, resting in the thought of what forgivenesstruly means. I settle into knowing that we can’t make everyone choose to be sorry, it’s their right to be sorry, apologize or not.  Ultimately, if they harbor resentment, or continue hurtful actions, that’s their cross to bear, not yours or mine. Likewise, if we choose to not forgive, that’s totally on us.  I know, personally, I have enough crosses to bear and forgiveness thankfully, is not one of them.

If you’re reading this blog, there’s a good chance you’ve either made some great recovery choices, or you’re well on your way.  But, if that’s not you, it’s ok, don’t beat yourself up.  Recovery involves so many different choices, and it can be overwhelming and exhausting to say the least. We all recover in different seasons, recover from different things, some large, some small, some life-changing, etc.    

Recovery Is often a hard time to forgive others, and yourself, because the wounds are still fresh, and may even still be wide open. You may be recovering because of a choice or choices you made, or something that was done to you. Either way it hurts.  Don’t let the pain keep you from moving forward.

Forgiveness is for our future, not our past, and can be a catapult to helping our recovery prosper.

“Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything 

against anyone, so that your Father who is in Heaven 

will also forgive you your transgressions.” - Mark 11:25 

Have you ever been let down, been done wrong, hurt so deeply that for longer than a moment, you thought “why?” “I don’t deserve this.” 

Has someone caused you to lose your faith, lose hope in everything, including humanity?  

Or, has that, been you? 

Have you ever let others down?  

Or, maybe the hardest one yet…

Have you ever let yourself down?

Who hasn’t?  

Let’s talk about some of these scenarios.

What do you do when the person who let you down Isn’t sorry, or when the person doesn’t even think they’ve ever done anything wrong? This was the case between my mother and I.  I was clothed In so many hurtful things: hate, anger, deceit, abandonment, and I had to learn to wear the coat of forgiveness.  

I had to come to the Intersection of addiction and forgiveness and learn to FORGIVE, and I DID! 

My mother continued her addiction and the destruction of not only herself, but our relationship, until the night she rode in the ambulance for the last time. I walked into the hospital that following morning knowing she had finally lost her own battle.  Her choices and their consequences were severe and eventually took her life, and it still makes me Incredibly sad. I lived my life wanting her to be sorry and wanting her to tell me she was sorry, and mean it.  You may feel this exact way about someone, and if you do, I hope these words can help heal your heart.

Our forgiveness shouldn’t depend on whether someone is sorry or not, but often, that’s the stipulation we put on forgiving someone.  That’s a hard sentence to write, speak, whisper and do, without coveting those words in prayer. We should all pray prayers that we can forgive, even when we can’t forget.

The most difficult thing I ever did was forgive someone who wasn’t sorry, and it’s incredibly hard to forgive those who aren’t, and be ok with never getting an apology or witnessing any feelings of remorse.  When you truly can get to the point where you pray for those who have wronged you, expecting nothing in return, your life will change!  I type these words, not as a directive to you, but out of a true personal experience, encouraging you to do the same.

You can’t imagine your life changing, I mean true, impactful change, unless you’ve come before the great I am with those who have injured you the most and honestly praying for them.  I mean, truly praying, like you would pray for someone close to you.

I can’t help but believe that some of God’s greatest blessings have been initiated by a simple prayer for those who may be the most undeserving.  I saw God walk with me, hear my prayers and turn them into incredible blessings, that will forever alter my life in ways I could never fully express.

My prayer Is that you can learn to forgive those who’ve harmed you, and the forgiveness would likewise be reciprocated.   

“And forgive us our debts, as we also have 

forgiven our debtors.” - Matthew 6:12

 
Forgiveness is just as much for you, as it is for the other person, and often must begin with you forgiving yourself, all the wrong choices, bad decisions, words spoken and not, and so on and so on and so on.But, it’s hard, real hard, and when I asked someone what they thought about forgiveness, their first words were, “not good at it.”

Forgiving others allows a pathway to us forgiving ourselves, and allows our hearts to be stitched back together.

Lord, thank You for your forgiveness when we fail, because we will.

“Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.” - Luke 23:34 

We are forgiven at the foot of the Cross.

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” – Mark Twain

Victory is yours!

(This was originally posted in Celebrate Recovery - Fellowship of the Parks NFW)